Visiting wife in Vĩnh-Yên and the stepmother's misunderstanding.Part III · pages 37–52

37Printed page 37In Hanoi, every week I only longed for Sunday to come visit you. Coming to visit you, but — I never bought you gifts, and you didn't wait for gifts, only for me. — ` | ' Once I brought chị Dung to visit you. Chị Dung was warmly welcomed and our happy day became even 'happier. m"

On the 49th day week for your grandmother, I also came up. After offering prayers for your grandmother at chùa Láp, I finished the ceremony and went home with anh Lân. Your father also told you to go prepare my meal. That day's meal, I remember there was a plate of stir-fried beef. You had chosen very tender pieces and when you brought up the tray of food, you told me:

—._~ My stir-fried beef is very clumsy, I forbid you to criticize it here LỘ _, You smiled faintly. You wore a white outfit, your head wrapped in a white scarf, the scarf made your face stand out even more and your smile became more graceful. Our mourning color - is white, but the white scarf on your head had implicitly transformed into a piece of jewelry - — making your face even more beautiful, your eyes even clearer and brighter, and your lips even fuller and redder.

That day, you were the one who served me the first bowl of rice. Lân and I sat eating, you ran up and down to bring more food. The meal was truly delicious, I remember it forever and later I don't know how many times I reminded you about this meal and each time I mentioned it, you would often give me a loving glare and say: "...That hateful face. Your domestic skills, especially your cooking skills, made our life together even happier," but sadly, at a time when happiness was full, — at a time when we needed each other, especially when I needed you, you left me. Every meal I remember your dishes, and my dear, I always make the children set a bowl and a pair of chopsticks, placing them next to where I sit as if you were still alive! After that meal, in the afternoon I went down to Hà-nội again. This time, I stayed in Hà-nội a bit long, perhaps more than two weeks before I came up. It's not that I didn't miss you, but because I also had to go back to my hometown to visit my Grandparents, Teachers, and Parents. Not coming up to visit you, but your image never left me, and when I missed you I would take out your two photos to look at. That time, I went up to visit you again. When I arrived at the house, I didn't know where you were, I only saw Me, chị _.

38Printed page 38Sinh and cô Tơ.

I greeted everyone, asked about you. Chị Sinh said you went down to the market. Me asked me a few questions then led me into the room to ask privately: "People say she's pregnant with you, isn't that right?" Huh! Why would people say something so strange. We were in two different places, how could you be pregnant with me.

39Printed page 39-And why would Me ask such an unreasonable question? Was Me indirectly trying to tell me that you were immoral?

Me was mistaken, I understood my wife very well! Your family is „ a moral family, you are an educated girl, how could such an abnormality ever happen! : ' Faced with a question like a ladle of cold water poured on my face, I was a little stunned, but in just a moment I calmly _ replied:

"` „ They're mistaken! My wife cannot be pregnant!

We haven't been intimate yet, and I believe my wife hasn't been intimate with anyone either.

Faced with my resolute answer, Me seemed to change the subject, saying: _- That's how people are, they have bad mouths, they __ want to make things up so you'll hate your wife. _.. I don't know who those people are, but I said nothing, quietly walked out.

- A moment later you returned. Seeing me, your face brightened. Looking at the way you walked, I saw that Me's words + were truly unreasonable. | _ We greeted each other, exchanged a few words, then you had to rush into the kitchen, to take care of household chores. if you kept talking to me, Bà cụ would glare disapprovingly.

40Printed page 40Later you often recounted, in those years at home there were only a few sisters. Ba worked in Tam-Đảo and Me also stayed there with Me's own children. Occasionally returning home, Me would often find fault with everything from a bamboo leaf that had just fallen from the bush into the yard, to a few pieces of paper that had __ flown in front of the house. A stepmother and her stepchild! s. What generation of bánh đúc has bones, l ` What generation of stepmothers loves their stepchildren. l You were busy with household chores, but then we still managed to talk privately. I recounted the words Me had just said to me. Your face darkened. I told you: :

- Let whoever wants to say whatever they want, you are still my | ._ pure wife. | .. Your eyes were slightly teary. I comforted you. You said:

- You see, Me is a stepmother, does Me love us at all Ì | The conversation just passed quickly then we moved on to another topic, our longing for each other. Let whoever wants to say whatever they want, let whoever wants to say whatever, as long as we understand each other. You were only 16 years old, and ˆ -_ a girl from a small province, no matter how anyone slandered you, _ -your innocence was enough to excuse you completely.

At that time, people truly intended to cause conflict between us. Out of nowhere, people fabricated stories saying that about you, and as for me, they didn't spare me either, they also made up stories no one could imagine. People told me that at the engagement ceremony, empty tea packets were given.

41Printed page 41- Just ask, has anyone ever gone to marry a wife and brought empty tea bags! And how much is each tea bag worth? They deliberately tried to humiliate me, and in their gestures, they also had many mannerisms as if despising me. I brought my observations to Anh Đạt. Anh Đạt said:

- You must be careful! You might fall victim to a cunning trick. You must understand, your family is a bit complicated. You must ask your wife carefully.

- Well, I already told you:

Me is a stepmother, does Me love us at all? Being a stepmother and having a bunch of her own children, how could that stepmother ever love her stepchildren? People only want to push down the stepchildren, seize all the stepchildren's rights for their own children. The happiness of stepchildren is naturally like a thorn in the eyes of people.

This, later living with you, I saw even more clearly. Me's own children, Me wanted to marry them off early, while the stepchildren, the later the better! Chị Sinh was a victim of Me many times. Every time someone hinted at an engagement with her, Me would get angry, or if someone came to the house intending to talk about asking for her — for their children, Me would be so rude and quarrelsome with them, so who would still want and dare to consider marrying Chị Sinh to be their daughter-in-law? On the contrary, if anyone hinted at Me's own children, Me's face would light up like a flower, she would eagerly welcome, inquire, and help a lot if needed, like in chú Tình's case. That's not to mention times when people hinted at asking for Chị Sinh, Me dismissed it and told them to be matchmakers for cô Hợp, Me's own child. l _, The more time passed, the more I understood the intention when they asked me about the rumor of your pregnancy, as well as the intention of spreading the rumor that there were empty tea packets at the wedding. They wanted us to despise each other, but we only cherished each other more. Every time I didn't come up to visit you for two Sundays in a row, I missed you a lot, but because the previous Sunday I went back to my hometown and the following Sunday was the end of the month, I planned to come up to you the Sunday after that.

42Printed page 42consider marrying Chị Sinh to be a daughter-in-law anymore. On the contrary, if anyone expressed interest in Me's own children, Me's face would be as fresh as a flower, Me would eagerly welcome, inquire, and help a lot if needed, like in chú Tình's case. That's not to mention when people expressed interest in Chị Sinh, Me dismissed it and told them to matchmake for cô Hợp, Me's own child. The more time passed, the more I understood the intention when asking me about the rumor that you were pregnant, as well as the intention to spread the rumor that there were empty tea bags at the wedding. They wanted us to despise each other, but we only cherished each other more. Every two Sundays in a row I didn't come to visit you, I missed you a lot, but because the Sunday before I went back to my hometown and the Sunday after was the end of the month, I planned to come up to you the Sunday after that.

I lay sadly in Hà-Nội. Lately I no longer stayed at Chị Dung's house because she and her husband had moved to Lạng-Sơn, she introduced me to stay at ông Tham Nhân's house in Ngọc-Hà, the way there was very difficult. Yet, I was so surprised when at around 10:30, I saw you appear at.

the gate leading in, with a not-so-happy expression.

Leading you into the house, you explained why you came back to me? It was also because of other people. They had fabricated stories to tell you, saying that I was angry with you because you looked down on my family for being rustic and not wealthy, and that's why I didn't come up to you anymore.

43Printed page 43had fabricated stories to tell you, saying that I was angry with you because you despised my family for being rustic and not wealthy, that's why I no longer came to you.

- What kind of story is that! You never despised me, just as I never despised you. Towards each other, we only have respect, having respected each other, of course we must respect each other's parents! You saw that I didn't come to you last week, and the week after, when the train from Hà-Nội arrived, you still didn't see me, so you left to find me!

You were truly brave, Hà-Nội's streets and alleys are like that, and I was all the way in Ngọc-Hà, yet how could you find my house. It's true that the previous times I came to visit you, I talked about the way to my house but to find my house, you were truly lucky.

We were happy together for one day in Hà-Nội. In the afternoon, seeing you off at the train, I followed you right away. I got on the train, and only said goodbye to you when the northbound train met the southbound train, then I transferred to the train to return to Hà-Nội.

One time I came to you, I brought my camera so we could take pictures together. When we met, we were overjoyed, and I took countless photos of you, it's a pity that we couldn't keep any of them later. That afternoon, when I went down, you saw me off at the station, with Chị Lân accompanying us. At the station, I also took many other photos of you, you standing with Chị Lân. Those photos are now lost, and you yourself are no longer here either! Photos lost, person also dead, all that remains is the distant shadow of the early days when we first got married but hadn't yet lived together. Bright eyes, flowing hair, you wore a white headscarf.

44Printed page 44At that time the sky was sang công, before it was cold, your cheeks were rosy. Your smile was truly beautiful. You took photos with chị Lân, chị Lân died five years before you, now it's your turn. Perhaps the ._ loss of all those photos foreshadowed the departure of the two sisters, one before the other, and now in this world, only the photographer remains.

You saw me off at the station, a husband and wife seeing each other off is a bit strange, yet people were not pleased. And when you went up to Tam-Đảo and wanted to return to Vĩnh-Yên, people started saying this and that to make Ba angry and hit you! That beating was terrible, later Ba's workers in Tam-Đảo recounted it to me. And you yourself, you sometimes mentioned it. Whenever your children didn't listen to what you told them, you often said:

45Printed page 45- If your mother was like that back then, she would have died with Ông!

Ba hit you, you didn't complain, you only resented the person who incited Ba! They were truly cruel, they only wanted their own children to be good, as for your sisters and you, they only cared about tormenting you. Living the life of a mother hen with ducklings, you endured so much hardship. You often reminded your children and you - — still told them:

- You children have a mother, but you don't listen to her! Back then, your mother was an orphan from the age of six, lacking all love, how could you children know this suffering!

My dear! Today your children are just like you back then, they lost you, they are also motherless like you! The only difference is that they live with their father, their father is old, of course they will never have to endure the life of a mother hen with ducklings, and the things you painfully had to endure back then, today I promise before your spirit, I will spare our children from them.

ˆ I still remember, you often reminded me of a . story from your childhood; ___ Back then you were in Tam-Đảo, you were only about 12, 13 years old.

Tam Đảo was cold, making one hungry quickly. Usually around 3, 4 PM you would feel hungry. At those times, Me and Me's own children would often go down to the storage room to buy bread to eat. Knowing that, you felt even hungrier and you only wished you had 2 xu to buy bread to eat but you never had 2 xu! So day after day Me and her own children kept eating and you kept going without! How could Father __ know! Father thought Me still took care of Father's children just as Father loved Me's children, and whenever she settled accounts with Father, Me would still charge for expenses related to Father's children, though these were only imaginary expenses. Me truly loved her stepchildren, but she loved them according to the saying "love means to whip," so she often instigated things so that you and your sisters would be beaten, only then would Me's _ __ love be satisfied! Then Me would make up this and that story to speak ill of you and your sisters. You mentioned the story of the pineapple jam jar.

46Printed page 46Me made jam, Me and her children ate it, then cô Hợp somehow didn't eat carefully, didn't cover it properly, letting ants crawl in. So when she saw ants in the jam jar, Me told Father: "Look, sir, at your child, I give them plenty to eat, yet they still sneak food, letting ants get into my whole jam jar." Me wanted to imply it was you, because at that time only you were in Tam-Đảo. It was truly an injustice, you knew nothing, and from a young age living as an orphan, you matured early, so you tried to avoid anything that could make Father sad, especially bad habits like sneaking food or petty theft, which you and your sisters would never commit. Me's child would sneak food but Me would blame the stepchild; similarly, with Father's money in the cabinet, Me's child could take it, but you, you wouldn't bother stealing.

47Printed page 47Your words still echo in my ears, and for thirty years we lived together, I understood you, you were a self-respecting person, never letting anyone look down on you, including me later on Ï. And your rheumatism, you still reminded the children that it started in Tam-Đảo. That night, there were many guests in the guesthouse, all the blankets were given to the guests. Only one was left, and cô Hợp, Me's child, took it. Normally, you and cô Hợp, two sisters, could have shared one blanket, both would have been warm, — but cô Hợp selfishly insisted on keeping the blanket to herself, leaving you to lie in the cold. You didn't dare complain, afraid Me would start saying this and that again. You had no choice but to lie without a blanket, then wrapped yourself in a mat, but with the cold of Tam-Đảo at an altitude of over 1000 meters, and at night, how could you bear it and how could you sleep! You got cold, especially your two - — legs became even colder. Your rheumatism started _ from then, and later, you endured pain ` whenever the weather changed. You took medicine, you applied medicine, but rheumatism is not easy to treat, medicine only helped you endure the illness and prevented it from worsening.

You often reminded me of many stories from your maiden days, living with a stepmother who lacked love and was full of hatred. You recounted the story of you opening a wine bottle, the bottle was already cracked, you held the neck of the bottle, and as you pulled out the cork, the bottle fell to the ground, cracking along the existing fissure. This happened in front of guests, among whom was bà Phán Độ.

48Printed page 48The bottle fell, luckily it didn't hurt you. The guests, some of them quickly asked: Are you alright?

Meanwhile, Mother (stepmother) again took the opportunity to scold you and made cutting remarks. Mother told Father: ....- There, you see your daughter! Is she skillful? She even broke a bottle of wine just by opening it! Later, when she goes to be a daughter-in-law in someone else's family, she'll keep doing things like that! Father hadn't had a chance to say anything, Mrs. Phán Độ spoke up:

"How could the bottle have been broken already, we saw with our own eyes, she didn't do anything. It was already very lucky that she wasn't injured in the leg." Perhaps Father understood after hearing bà Phán Độ! This time Father understood, but other times when no one spoke up, did Father understand? Perhaps Father understood everything, but wanting peace in the family, Father didn't defend his child and speak out. Today you are dead, recalling these things is not because I resent only your stepmother, but I want your endured injustices to be known to relatives through the lines I . T1. ng Ta GIÀN vu 1 v : Da an TN k Ề D Ă. h MP. ` quà - kt›- 2y cg DOẾN -_ ¬ l ĐANG. tên _ TẾ nàn SE Tin 2, Sễ là E Ấn VU Sư AE ng DẦN 1:-182.=- , TÊN nan NV Vu ưn Xi t Huấn Củ TT. t s-..:.. ‹- TH SiaN xi n2 vo .= - ^ >y Tà TW ru ng .¬ K2 `. tr Ề 29t D4 Tư tem ¬-.- va vM J..... th. .R _* 1» g Thì Ta " Tố re Ẳ Na. . h ho ri farESECTSPNIETEE3 Tư . ¬## =`: Sa k Đó k c1 MỀnG, nh King TIẾN V bài ˆ * —- ».. " * h ï #8 NO Si Bàu Nhan " : là TIENG ĐA An án An ha SN s4 . , đt và 4< Sư ST Hệ hấu 2n. 2 DU yyo : , maạạmMMDạaycyyycyặẶMšăẫăNša5n5m5nn.m 8 write. You suffered from childhood, so when you lived with me, in the early days, how many times did you mention:

50Printed page 50- "From childhood, I lived without love. Now living with you, I finally know what love is!" ° My dear! We have loved each other, we -_ have given birth to eleven children together, and we have __ -also put love into our children. You often ASKED: ~ I didn't have my Mother's love from childhood, today I don't want our children to lack that precious love.

- You said that, but now, you have left us and gone, your love is still undying but they no longer feel it as when you were alive beside me. ` Returning to the days when I visited you weekly, we understood each other more and more, cherished each other more. - : Now Tết is approaching, Tết of the Canh-Thìn year. Father allowed you to go to Hà-Nội to buy clothes, because the day I would welcome you home was approaching.

You bought clothes, the person who chose the colors for you was - — Mr. Lân. Mr. Lân is also no longer here, he died — 15 years ago. He loved you very much and had an 'artistic eye' so the shirt designs chosen for you suited you very well.

The days you returned to Hà-Nội were another opportunity for us to be close. You went with Chị Lân, and you slept at Chị Lân's house. Day after day I would visit you and go out with you. We had not yet been intimate in bed, because we respected each other. I hadn't brought you home yet, we wanted to reserve the solemn moment for our sincere love.

51Printed page 51While you were in Hà-Nội, we talked to each other, not under anyone's prying eyes. Chị Lân also encouraged us to go out together. In a conversation discussing having children later, you told me in front of Chị Lân:

"Then we'll have five children at once like that woman reported in the newspaper. Just one birth is enough to raise them, saving a lot of hardship!"

The newspapers back then reported about a young woman giving birth to quintuplets. We both laughed together.

Exactly when you were in Hà-Nội, France brought to Việt-Nam two giant Farman airplanes and some Poiez airplanes. To let the people of Việt-Nam see the strength of France, the French government allowed the people of Việt-Nam to come to Gia-Lâm airport to see these airplanes.

We also went to see. You and chị Lân went by rickshaw, while I and a friend went by bicycle. The | large airplanes at that time looked strange, but today we have seen many larger airplanes.

Most memorable was when you returned, you met some young students, they looked at you and one of them exclaimed: "Beautiful like an Empress!"

52Printed page 52I repeated their words for you to hear. You laughed and said: Children talk nonsense, but deep down, I'm sure you were very happy.

There were also some young men who chased after and teased you, among them was anh Phấn, who used to study with me. Phấn and his friends were teasing you, when they saw me call you, they quickly went ahead and we were leisurely on our way home.

We waited for Tết Canh-Thìn, so that, following my village's custom, my parents would go up to Vĩnh-Yên to welcome you vẻ. . IV _ˆ_ 25th day of the 12th lunar month, year Kỷ-Mão! That was a memorable day for us! l That day my paternal grandfather came up from the countryside to welcome you. _ I still remember the night of the 24th, at that time my Library and Archival Studies class had ended, I had returned to Vĩnh-Yên, and I slept at your house. The weather that year was so | _ terribly cold. I lay in the room next to the room where you were sleeping with chị Sinh, I complained about the cold, and the next morning you kept teasing me about it.