The last day at the hospital and his wife's funeralPart XIV · pages 198–223

198Printed page 198XIV Along with you that day at the hospital, besides me, there were Thanh and Aunt Quy. After diagnosis, you were taken to a room to lie down. A little later, many people from home came in, Thanh, Dũng, Hạnh and her husband, and even Ba. You were still very healthy and alert. Looking at you, everyone, including those sharing the room with you, no one could have thought that you would die. I had great trust in the hospital at that time, and the nurse also said: "Once you're here, you can rest assured!"

I was very reassured, I only thought this was an opportunity for the doctor to completely cure your stomach ache.

You yourself, you must have been as reassured as I was. When Hạnh came to visit you, she cried, and you lovingly scolded her:

- "Your father and mother, I'm not dead, why are you crying!" Hearing Mother scold her lovingly, she wiped her tears and looked at her mother.

She also loved her mother very much. She knew that Mother was worried about her, Mother had struggled and thought about her. You were really worried about her! Although lying in the hospital, your mind was still at home, at the tea party for guests the next evening and at Hạnh's wedding the day after that.

You had asked all of Thanh, just as before you had asked Bảo, so that on her wedding day she would spread the bed and lay the mattress for our child, hoping that our child would be as lucky and prosperous as her, according to traditional belief.

199Printed page 199— You instructed Thanh from how to arrange the tea party table to how to make the dishes you were in the middle of preparing. You were still strong, only weak in that you couldn't sit up. While being given IV fluids, you still happily talked to everyone, thinking that your condition wasn't that bad! — Everyone stayed at the hospital until ten o'clock, the nurse urged them, and everyone left. I also left, only Năm stayed to look after you!

I regret it so much, em ạ, why didn't I stay at the hospital with you that night, who knows, if I had been there, that night, when you went to the toilet one more time, I would have been so anxious I would have knocked on the doctor's door for an emergency, they would have operated on you immediately and you would have recovered! I remember, when I left, you still looked after me - you smiled and told me to look after things at home for our child, you were very at peace lying in the hospital! The next morning, I went with Sơn to visit you again. You said that during the night, you had gone to the toilet again and had fainted for a while. At that time, they were giving you IV fluids, and there were two different bottles. The nurse told me to be at peace, to trust the hospital.

You were still lucid. You asked the nurse if they needed to take a sample to give to you, the nurse replied no.

200Printed page 200"Actually, at that time your condition wasn't serious, if you hadn't gone to the toilet again. If the hospital's medicine had been effective, stopping your bleeding, your condition would have been nothing to worry about. This was precisely the hospital's oversight, they didn't examine the illness carefully and they truly trusted their skill and their medicine, they thought they could stop your bleeding, without needing surgery.

- "We are not doctors, we just knew what they said, how could we have suspected the separation of yin and yang today! It was I who gave you medicine to drink that morning. Your complexion, I saw no change, and I trusted the hospital's medicine even more.

I and Sơn stayed with you until almost 11 o'clock. When we left, Sơn said goodbye to you, and you even said:

- You children go home and be happy, Mother is fine! — Alas! You loved your child, not thinking of yourself, you wanted your child's wedding to be completely perfect, even though you couldn't personally attend the wedding feast and witness your child's vu-quy ceremony.

From the hospital back home, everyone, especially Thanh, asked about you, I recounted your condition, everyone was reassured, thinking it was just a temporary setback, that you would be sick for a few days! But at two o'clock that day, when I sat down for dinner, I felt restless, agitated and weary.

The family ate dinner late, everyone still had to prepare for the evening party. I didn't enjoy my meal, I thought I was just tired. Little did I know, two o'clock was exactly when your condition worsened at the hospital. From two in the morning until two in the afternoon you didn't go to the toilet anymore, at that time, perhaps your health wasn't strong enough to hold the blood vessels, you went to the toilet again, and this time it was really a lot, plus you vomited out of your mouth. Although your condition worsened like that, you still tried to ask someone to call home, giving them the phone number and at the same time you managed to ask a man in the room, it's unclear if this was a patient or a patient's family member, to go all the way home to inform me. Before that, I thought your condition was nothing to worry about, so I planned to visit you in the evening after the wedding party and tell you about the wedding party. I lay down to rest, when I suddenly heard Thanh's panicked call:

201Printed page 201- Hey Toán, she's in critical condition at the hospital, they called to say to come immediately! So I quickly got up, put on my clothes with Me, Thanh and Quy had already rushed ahead.

Uyển also came in, although everyone tried to stop her, she was pregnant and due to give birth soon. She said:

- I have to be with my mother for a while. Uyên and I, father and daughter, went together in a taxi, when we arrived, seeing you at the hospital, I felt so sorry for you, your face was pale, your eyes were half-closed and the hospital was giving you a blood transfusion. Around you at that time were Me, Thanh and Quy. A little later Quy also arrived. When I came in, according to Quy, you looked better, before you looked even paler, your complexion had recovered thanks to the blood transfusion, the hospital also gave you oxygen to breathe, and also gave you IV fluids. You had four nylon tubes inserted with needles into your blood vessels, and an oxygen tube inserted into your nostril. Looking at you, I was so worried! Who knew your condition would change so quickly.

202Printed page 202According to the people in the same room, at two o'clock in the afternoon, you had a lot of bloody stools and blood also oozed from your mouth. After this bleeding, you fainted, but before fainting, you still gathered strength to ask someone to call home, giving the phone number and even the house number to ask someone to go to the house to find me. ' -_ The people in the room with you were also kind, they helped you with all their might; at home, the phone call was received, and someone even came to tell me in person. I thanked this person as soon as I came in to be with you.

You fainted, the hospital saw the need for a blood transfusion, your blood type was O, and the hospital didn't have it. At that time, I wasn't there either. Fortunately, given your serious condition, the nurse caring for you voluntarily donated her own blood for you, her gesture was truly noble, I regret tiệc saù nảy, because I was so busy with your funeral and too much in pain that I haven't been able to thank her.

203Printed page 203I truly hope these lines reach that noble nurse, I hope she understands that even though your life couldn't be saved, I will always remember her kindness. . Nurse! If you read these lines, please consider them the most sincere thanks from .- me, the husband who suffered greatly from my wife's too sudden death. Your beautiful and noble deed, my family ' — will not forget, and I will forever remind my children and grandchildren of your invaluable help.

Besides the nurse's blood, the hospital also had one bag of blood for you. As I stood watching, you opened your eyelids and looked at everyone. Aunt Quy asked:

- Are you very tired?

You nodded. You looked around, noticing me and Uyển. Uyển met her niặt mother this time for the last time while alive, because there was no more, just the next afternoon you breathed your last.

The nurse said that you would be moved to the emergency area and would undergo surgery, requiring a lot of blood. Uncle Quy _— asked for the blood type and rushed to ask for blood for you. Bốn . also gave you blood. _ They prepared to move you to the emergency area. Here you lay in the bỗi sinh room. Me, Uncle Thanh, Uncle Quy and his wife, Uyên and her husband, and I all went to the emergency area to wait. Grall Hospital was truly strange, seriously ill patients, I asked around but no one spoke, it was much later that I met Doctor Delavaux and he informed me of the serious case. All the family members ˆ waited to see if they would operate on you, but waited 'a very long time without hearing anything, everyone except me had to leave because they were busy with Hạnh's wedding party that evening.

204Printed page 204I stayed at the hospital with you, every 15 minutes or half an hour, I would secretly open the door to visit you. In the . Hồi-sinh room, they strictly forbade anyone from entering or leaving. One time — I went in, the nurse was caring for you, you opened your eyes and looked out, I nodded as a signal, you nodded back and smiled. Other times I went in, you were fast asleep, sometimes I touched your forehead and then left, sometimes seeing you asleep I turned right back out, turned out so that a moment later I would go back in. The on-duty nurse kept chasing me away, they chased me but I didn't care, how could I be at ease without seeing you. One time I caught you crying out in pain, other times - I only saw you lying with your eyes closed, I didn't know if you were sleeping or awake, but fearing you were tired, I just looked at you and then left.

It went on like that until evening, then from evening until night, I only got to see you once, they locked the room door, I | couldn't get in. Not going in to see you but outside I still listened for your condition, paid attention to the door of your room, to see--if the nurse opened the door to give you blood, if not, it meant your bleeding had stopped! : - My dear! While I was at the hospital with you, at home Hạnh's wedding party was still going on. I asked Thanh and his wife and Uncle Quy and his wife to help look after the guests. The guests arrived in full. Grandparents, Bảo, Tống and his wife helped us host the guests. Uncle Quy also sent a photographer to take pictures. The wedding party was also joyful, despite our absence. Looking back at the photos . taken that evening as well as the next day, - I couldn't help but feel a pang of sadness because only we were absent. Thinking l again, I felt boundless pity for you. You worked so hard for this wedding party, and alas! You didn't get to witness it!

205Printed page 205When the guests saw our absence and learned the reason, they were also less joyful, but the party was still very warm thanks to the cleverness of Bảo, Tống and his wife, Thanh and his wife, and everyone else. ` While the guests were all present, someone suggested calling me home, Bảo dismissed it and said that my presence at the hospital at that time was very necessary, because if the hospital were to operate on you, my decision would be required.

- I also feel sorry for Hạnh, my dear, a person only gets married once, and the wedding party was missing both . father and mother! Was that fate! With so much worry for our child, Heaven was too cruel, you didn't get to witness the party, the party for which you put in so much effort! :

My dear, our child's wedding party went on, I waited at the hospital, waited for your condition to improve, waited for all the family members to come in.

206Printed page 206Around a little past eight o'clock, Thanh, Uncle Quy, and Thế came in, bringing me some food. At the hospital at that time, Năm was also there, she had followed you in from the day before.

My heart was weary, I didn't feel like eating anything, even Năm was sad about your condition.

It's very strange, my dear! At the hospital with you, Đường Ỷ as if someone told me:

- After Hạnh's wedding is done, her mother will recover!

This person is from the invisible world, and the above sentence had entered his mind.

That night, chú Quy came in bringing a folding chair with blankets and a mosquito net for him to sleep, but how could he sleep. He lay there, but every half hour he would get up again. Your room with five doors was tightly shut. He wished for it to be morning quickly to inquire about your condition.

When morning came, he waited anxiously at the room door. The on-duty nurse came out, he asked her. She said that at one o'clock in the night you bled again, and throughout the entire night you only bled that one time! He hoped the hospital's medicine had stopped your bleeding, and you would recover when Hạnh's wedding was done. .

That morning chú Quy also came in to ask about your condition. He asked chú ấy to go home to prepare for Hạnh's lễ vu-quy ì, and for chú ấy and his wife to take Hạnh to her husband's home.

At the hospital, he waited for time to pass so Hạnh's wedding would be done. He.was haunted by the sentence: After Hạnh's con con wedding is done, her mother will recover Í He believed in this sentence, he thought of the day you gave birth to Hạnh, you also had postpartum hemorrhage but then you were fine, so today, your bleeding condition is also just - — hemorrhage! :

207Printed page 207But my dear, he did not understand the meaning of the °... above sentence from the invisible world. Your recovery here, means you are free from all pain, you are leaving this world!

Then the cold wedding was done, chú Quy and Dũng came in to inform him. He was happy for his child, and hoped your condition would improve.

While chú Quy and Dũng were still there, he went in to visit you. At this time you were awake and you were thirsty. You told him:

-___"_ ò Several hours, no sip of water, my dear!

- He told you because of the bleeding they didn't dare let you drink water.

He looked at your complexion, your face was yellow in some places and red in others, _— perhaps a lot of blood had come out, not enough blood was going in, but he never thought of the tragic outcome that in the afternoon ` that day you would die. l He couldn't say anything to you. He only told " you: _ ~ They forbade him from entering, he had to sneak in.

He repeated this sentence twice. He told you to rest assured and lie down. He prayed to Heaven and Buddha for you to overcome the danger, his heart was very sincerely praying. Thinking back, he pitied you, having gone through more than one night, you only thought it had been a few hours.

208Printed page 208Coming out, he told Dũng to go in and visit you. He went in _ but you had closed your eyes in sleep, he just looked at his mother and then left, unable to say a word. If he knew that in the afternoon his mother - would die, and those moments that day were his mother's last moments, he would surely stop, touch your forehead - if you opened your eyes, he would ask a few questions.

Chú Quy also went in to visit. You were still awake, you said something to chú Quy but he couldn't make it out, _ then you smiled. You wanted to say more, he waved it off because he was afraid you were tired! Chú Quy didn't understand what you wanted to say, but he, he understood, my dear!

You knew I didn't have much money, and had just finished taking care of Hạnh's wedding, your stay in the hospital must be expensive, you wanted Uncle Quy to help you! You thought you would recover from the illness, how could you have known, the illness took you to eternal rest! I asked the nurses, they said that from one o'clock at night, you weren't bleeding anymore! My shortsighted mind thought that was good news, little did I know, if the blood didn't come out, it would stay inside, and by then you were weak, where would there be much blood left to come out like before. Thinking you were better, that afternoon I left Dũng at the hospital and I went home!

At home, Ba and Me were still there. I recounted your illness to Ba and Me, and I expressed my own opinion, thinking that since you weren't bleeding anymore, you would recover, Ba was a little happy, though Ba was still very worried!

209Printed page 209I had just left for a while, around two o'clock that afternoon, chị Bảo, chị Thanh, and thím Quy also came to visit you. Chị Bảo told you that Hạnh's wedding was done, and she had completed everything you entrusted her with, taking Hạnh to her husband's home, arranging the bed for Hạnh and her husband. According to her account, you smiled and thanked her, but at the same time, you also shed tears. Did you cry because you were happy your child's wedding was done, or did you cry because you knew you were nearing death. My dear, anyway, Hạnh's wedding was done, before you left this world, you knew you had provided for the two eldest children.

You are truly pitiful! Giving birth to eleven children, raising eleven children, how much hard work, - only managed to provide for two, though there were two weddings, you only witnessed one and a half weddings. Uyển's wedding, you weren't very satisfied, then Hạnh's wedding, you only witnessed the engagement ceremony, as for the wedding ceremony, alas! Although you put in so much effort _ mã, the wedding was held without both of us!

My dear, there are still nine more children, from now on, who do I know to plan with to provide for them! And every time their happy day comes, I only miss you more, I remember your hard work, I remember your care for the children, I remember your boundless sacrifice for the children and for me too! Thinking about it only adds to the bitterness! Where else can I turn now, my life partner has passed into eternity!

210Printed page 210That afternoon, around past three o'clock, I went back to the hospital. I told Dũng to go home and rest, Dũng would come in with me late in the evening. In the hospital, just like the day before and that morning, I occasionally rushed to open the door and secretly visit you. You were still sleeping. Until 6:20 PM, I went in again, just in time to find you awake. At this moment, you were very clear-headed. Your complexion under the light showed no signs of deterioration. This time, we talked for quite a while.

You told me: - I might die, my dear!

I calmly reassured you:

- How could you die! If you were going to die, you would have died at two o'clock yesterday afternoon. From one o'clock last night until now, you haven't been bleeding anymore.

You said:

- It's still coming out. I said: No more, I asked the nurses. I wasn't in here with you, but I still monitored your condition every five minutes. You're not bleeding anymore!

Your eyes lit up! To tell you the truth, seeing you weren't bleeding anymore, I was also happy. Looking at your bright eyes, it showed you still loved life very much, you were eager for life. With a husband like this, children like this, and a babbling grandchild by your side, how could you give up, my dear!

211Printed page 211You told me: - Tell them to try to cure me, no matter how much it costs! I comforted you: - Just rest assured there. No matter how much it costs, we can manage, doctors naturally have to be dedicated. The doctors were dedicated. They visited you every 15 minutes, they really wanted to save you, but my dear, life and death are up to fate, and fate is always bitter and cruel!

You again told me to take off the ring on your hand.

I hesitated, your hand was a little swollen then, I was afraid of hurting you. I didn't want to take it off, you said the doctor told you to. Listening to you, I didn't know if the doctor really said so, or if you felt something yourself and wanted to take the ring off.

I gently removed it, afraid your hand would hurt. You said: "Here, pull it out from the inside."

I slowly pulled it out but it was very difficult. You said again; "

"Push it out hard!"

I had removed the ring. Looking at the ring, you told me: "Wear it on your hand!"

212Printed page 212I wore the ring on my hand in front of you. Your face showed satisfaction.

At that time you were very clear-headed. I mentioned Bê. "Bê is at home, she keeps asking about Grandma."

Perhaps this remark made you sad. You closed your eyes. Seeing you close your eyes, I quietly went out to let you rest. Oh, my dear! Truly, I never imagined that our conversation that time would be the last, because just over two hours later, you departed forever, leaving this world and leaving me with only sorrowful memories and pain!

I quietly went out, but only about half an hour later I quietly opened the door and went in to see you. I asked the nurse, she told me the doctors planned to operate on you on Monday morning. This news made me happy, because it meant your bleeding had stopped; otherwise, how could you endure until Monday morning, that day being Saturday. At that moment, Uncle Quy came in, and I told him the news. Quy loved you very much, he cared for and worried about you a great deal!

The nurse said that, but about 15 minutes later, I again opened the door and went in, first to see you, then to ask her about you. This time she said: "The doctors just said we have to operate urgently!"

I was startled, but I thought that your illness would definitely require surgery, and if you got through the operation, you would recover. About 15 minutes before that, looking in from the hospital yard, I saw several doctors standing around your bed, discussing for a very long time. Surely after this discussion, they decided to operate on you urgently. I went out to wait on the veranda again. Only about two minutes later, the nurse came out and invited me in to meet the doctor. When I went in, Doctor Delavaux also came out. He told me I needed to provide one liter of blood, the hospital would operate on you that very night, and he informed me they would have to cut out a section of your intestine and a piece of your stomach! I told him the blood was already available, and at the same time, I went out to use the hospital phone to inform Uncle Quy and the children at home. I called Uncle Quy's office, but he was out; I called home, but the phone didn't ring. I thought the children at home had left the phone off the hook, so I had to rush back. When I got home, Uncle Quy already knew and was about to go ask for blood for you, in case a lot was needed during the operation.

213Printed page 213After informing the children, I rushed back to the hospital. Uyễn also told her husband to come in, in case there was no one to donate blood, they would take more blood, they would take more of his blood, and luckily her husband drove me in!

Oh, my dear! It was truly painful! When I arrived at the hospital, it was just as you were taking your last breath. Doctor Delavaux led me in to you. I touched your cold feet, your cold hands, only your body was still slightly warm.

At that time, Thanh and his wife also came to visit you, and Dũng and Thắng were also there! They rubbed your whole body, tears streaming down. Thanh's wife cried. I told Dũng to go home and get a change of clothes for you.

214Printed page 214Gazing at you, you looked like someone sleeping. I kissed your two cheeks, I kissed your lips again as when you were alive! Strangely, after that kiss on your lips, you smiled faintly. You were satisfied, you died in my arms.

I opened your eyelids, your eyes were still sparkling bright and looked back at me. You weren't dead yet; although your heart had probably stopped beating, but your mind was still clear, perhaps that's why: your eyes looked back at me and your mouth smiled faintly.

Sister Thanh and I massaged your whole body, your skin was still smooth, your face still fresh, and yet you were dead! Sister Thanh cried, I cried, and our child, Thắng, at that moment also leaned his head against the wall and cried! Enough, enough! You were already dead, what else was there! I was like someone who had lost my mind. I embraced you!

I reminded Sister Thanh of what you had just told me more than two hours ago, and spoke about the ring.

Sister Thanh said:

"Why did you take off her ring? It's very bad luck, people avoid it. Put it in her mouth."

"A dead person with gold in their mouth will be very sacred!" : . - I took off the ring, took a cloth blanket to cover my hand to discreetly put the ring in your mouth!

Oh, our love and devotion, thirty years, three months and twelve days, ends here, a separation of yin đương a pair of tusks!

215Printed page 215Dũng brought clothes, and I and Sister Thanh dressed you in them, the blue outfit, which you yourself sewed and embroidered!

You were dead, how could I save you anymore! How cruel Heaven is, we, husband and wife, lived together in poverty, I also had no status or position k gì, what did the two of us get to enjoy! We only had love for each other, and we took family happiness to replace all money and status! Why are those who have both money and status, their spouses not chia rẻ †? Heaven and Earth are truly unfair!

You were dead hắn rồi. Your funeral was held __ on the morning of Tuesday, December 23, 1969, which was the full moon day of the l1th month of the Kỷ-Dậu year. All the children were present, all eleven of them got to see your face one last time; they all cried a lot, Both sons-in-law and two grandchildren Bê, Bí were also present at the embalming ceremony. Father, mother, Sister Thanh and I, and Quy's husband and wife also attended the embalming ceremony - for you! Father suffered and cried for you profusely.

Close friends and relatives attended the funeral and offered condolences ‹ for you, there were many, almost all the residents in the residential area were present. Visiting you, those gentlemen and ladies all recalled your image and your way of life.

Besides our friends, our children's friends who came to offer condolences and attend your funeral were also not few. The school friends of ˆ_ Uyễn, of Hạnh, the military friends from the same unit as Tuấn, some students who studied with Dũng all had a ceremony - visit, wreaths, or incense and candles. Even the school friends of Nga, of Thắng, Kỳ, Định, Brother Boniface of Đức-Minh school not only came to visit you at the hospital but also led the school friends of Thắng Kỳ, Định to : the cemetery to form a bàng rào danh-dự to welcome your lnh cửu.

216Printed page 216The nuns of Nga school also brought the female students to l -_ việng you and bid you farewell on the day of the funeral. _-__ Everyone mourned you, and seeing the large number of young children, they all felt pity!

Uncle Mộng-Chương took you to the grave, took a set of photos and offered you a wreath, the condolence message was truly moving: MISSING SISTER. I kept this wreath to worship at your grave.

Among those who cried and grieved for you were - Vân's husband and wife, they grieved for you as if you were their own mother! And also Đoan, when you were alive you loved her very much, when you died, she asked to wear mourning for you and cried for you as if she were your own child!

Your eyes, I live again with suffering! I am so sad! To comfort me, everyone brought up the saying about fate! Oh! Fate! Sister Thanh often said:

- She died, that's a blessing! Died without pain, ` she looked like she was still sleeping, and all eleven children were present. Nhìn bảy thẳng con trai chống gậy, người ta DU óc CÓ CỐ ỐC CC CC GOGUƯờogư.ướơờừờề ưựợoưộoổờừùag ...cc..yy cam,” ộoồ Xà +UIỆNG tàn x7. kha‹f—- ` đà Vô và c ng thi dể Sở nà đợ 6 vợ M Đ sẽ lở DN... ` ^^. xa Áo - ý, TA đG + Ê à kê Š `... `. SA li “ụ xi ớc" XS (2021 : Là NỆ ® TƯỜNG ống NA. k TM h xả. TT - 2 Áy 1o h4 KỆ nuoc So». (l1 HÔNG Ỉ hạ Sa MT TNZT TY ¬¬SXx--:-:

ả Ea.) ˆ SA HGG l tế n c i bê đán đan * : Mã l % xa TH Tê LT rA di XIN TÊN _".. =. “na mm SE 7 20A Hán E0 kh KG 25020 TSGUEWSGNRRBRGBE Si “ v: x ¿ HE TàN/.Ì CAI _ " Tự ˆ Ms .-<- khẽ TT... Đệ hp Ẻ de Tà nh Hà v.v M MA N dt cà s2). ì, Ä\gÓI,: HỘ, CỦg, f0 ác NHA Uy” pitied her, but everyone praised her good fortune, that during this war, all her children were able to see their mother off!

217Printed page 217Plus two sons-in-law and two grandchildren! Not destined to live, dying like that is better than others † Better than others! How ironic! If only we were worse off than others but lived five more years, how much happier both of us would be!

You have died! Your grave, I had it built, and I carved on the headstone the four characters THỤC ĐỨC LƯU PHƯƠNG.

Your physical grave has been built, I hope that these pages I write will be a spiritual grave, and this book will forever remind our children and grandchildren of you, of all your flying and beautiful qualities, and especially of our faithful and undying love, even though today we are separated by death.

Your image will forever remain in my soul, in our children's souls; I and our children will never forget you.

I also want none of our close friends to forget you, this book will remind them of you! You died, but I don't want you to - die in oblivion! And if in the next life we meet again, \ We will decide to reunite as a couple!

Saigon 26-12-69 - 14-3-70 WEEPING FOR YOU Alas, You have died, :

218Printed page 218Where are you now, you whom I love †!

Where are the mornings and evenings, Sharing sorrows and joys together l Where is your voice, your laughter l Where are your bright eyes looking at me !

Where are the times through the five watches of the night, :

Whispering about our family matters! —.

Where is your graceful standing figure † The children's eyes, deeply pained for mother;

During silent meals, we look at each other, Look at mother's place, where is mother, oh God!

Pity the orphaned children!

Pity the two naive grandchildren, so young!

Missing Grandma, restless and bewildered, asking me: “Grandpa, where has Grandma gone now?”

Thirty years living together, without you I live in endless deep sorrow!

219Printed page 219VẤN TẾ Hồi ơi! Trade clouds cover, Deeply sorrowful wind rustles; - The hundred-year journey has seen many vicissitudes, the Kinh-Bắc region now even more bitter, A life's journey also has many hardships, Phong-châu clouds suddenly turn to sorrow and worry!

Remembering you then:

Elegant appearance, graceful demeanor, gentle and filial nature, yielding to those below, respectful to those above.

Gentle manner, cherished by husband, loved by children. Blaming the cruel old Heaven, the Thung family in pain, the virtuous woman's body departed life early, Hating the vast, cruel earth, leaving children desolate, the fate of a kind mother quickly died and drifted away! Old father pities, widowed husband grieves, Where are the times of happily visiting father, caring for meal times and sleep, Where are the times of tenderly pleasing husband, asking about everything.

220Printed page 220Blaming Nam-Tào, Bắc-Đầu for not yet death recorded life, when writing not holding back their pen, Buốn Ngọc-Đế, Như-Lai with high power and great virtue, their miraculous power showed no mercy to keep the lady.

House is empty, children and grandchildren are struggling, Front garden, back yard, cold and desolate, Meals and sleep, weary and lonely. The flock of children under her wing, hoping their kind mother's crane age would be higher, waiting for the day to offer Khải-tửu, The grandchildren by her side, thought Grandma's phoenix strength was still strong, happily enjoying her care! Who would have thought: Two days of severe illness, One deep, dark afternoon.

You departed, leaving husband, children, and grandchildren, with a heart numb with pain. I remained, looking at the house and garden, heavy with painful longing.

Missing the loving smile in the Lai courtyard, from morning till evening the boys and girls feel lost and bewildered.

Dense misty clouds of Dĩ mountain, day after day, month after month, old and young are all gloomy and sad!

221Printed page 221Thirty years of love and affection, husband and wife's close love day by day, as longevity increased, it became even stronger, Forty-six years enjoying life, the bond of life separated in a moment, the sorrow of separation will last forever:

So from now:

Yin and Yang go separate ways, One departed, one remains, Riding a crane, wandering in clouds, you return to eternal place, Mortal world's worldly troubles, I stay in trấn Phiên-An, Finding old memories, old photo albums, only looking at pictures, gazing at shadows.

Recalling our past love, the feeling remains, I must love our grandchildren and raise our children.

The sorrow of parting, children love, grandchildren remember, the stick of incense further reminds me day and night, the children of Đại Cảnh are heartbroken and mournful, older sister cries, younger sister is sad, when visiting, sorrowful tears are even more abundant, the suffering and sorrow of loved ones. Alas!

Shared love in bed, Heads close, cheeks touching, Loyalty, chastity, virtue, Fulfilling the meaning of husband and wife, Thought we'd share the years, Happy in harmony, Who knew we'd part ways, Eternal farewell, separation!

Alas!

Deceased Ty HƯƠNG ANH... . ˆ g g. ..

222Printed page 222NHỚ THƯƠNG by TOAN ÁNH, which the author began writing on December 26, 1969 and completed on March 14, 1970. The book was printed on August 10, 1970, the author had to give it as a gift to friends and relatives to commemorate his painful bereavement and to express gratitude to all friends and relatives who helped, shared their condolences, offered respects, or attended the funeral of his wife.

223Printed page 223Permit number 203] BTT/PHNT May 15, 1970 of the Ministry of Information.